Just chatted with a mom! I have to thank God! In the past few years, I have always "brought money to serve" and "served" out of my own pocket! I have always wondered: Have I achieved any results? Thank God! There are so many “testimonies” around me! The people I served the most before were “single mothers”! Our kids have made amazing changes lately! And every sister is getting happier and happier! Thank God! A child didn't like studying, but he scored 1470 on the SAT, which is a very high score. I was quite surprised by his performance! He has indeed changed a lot! Another child had never had a good relationship with her mother, but she actually finished high school in three of four years and graduated early! This kid is also quite good! Get into an art college! Thank God! Although, my pocket is getting thinner and thinner, but I am very happy! Because I witnessed the power of God! He is truly a God who works wonders alone! If someone had led and helped me like this, I believe my children would be better than now! My own pain is my motivation to serve these single mothers!
Why did I ignore the Christian who asked me for my phone number and name? Because I feel like this guy feels like a liar! There are too many Christians in mainland China who are making money in the name of being Christians! They all use the name of some courses to make money. I really don't like it! Of course I will have financial pressure! But could I be a betrayer of God for the sake of my own belly? I don’t want to be ordained, and I don’t want to become a pastor. It’s not that I’m not qualified, it’s that I don’t want to! Sometimes when I see those pastors, preachers and Christians with bad character, I will definitely quarrel with God!
I often talk to God: If you are really God! You must have perfect righteousness! You have not properly disciplined your own church and congregations. This is your mistake! If this world continues to be unjust, it means there is no God at all! So why do we “preach the gospel” to deceive people? Why do I choose to remain silent when faced with these unjust and fraudulent Christians? Because, I am not God, I don’t need to judge them! I have indeed met many evil Christians, but I have not exposed their evil deeds. Why? Instead of pampering them, they should be left to God! Why would I criticize those who don’t know God? Because I can help these people get better! "Criticism" and "help" are actually one! Being willing to "criticize" means "caring" and "spending time". When we are "indifferent", it means that we no longer care at all. Leave these evil-doing Christians to God! I believe God is the true and living God! His faithfulness and righteousness are completely beyond our comprehension! Don't feel sorry for the evildoers! (Proverbs 24:19) Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked; ~Perhaps many people do not believe in God, but I believe in His faithfulness and righteousness! If He wants me to be a shepherd, He will definitely arrange and provide for me! Didn’t He lead me through free seminary? Is it difficult for Him to be “ordained” and “supplied” me? America officials are all relying on capitalists, so America becomes more and more corrupt!
剛剛跟一位媽媽聊天！我必須要感謝上帝！這幾年我都是「帶錢服事」，都是自己掏腰包「服事」！我一直懷疑：自己到底有沒有做出果效？感謝神！我身邊有太多「見證」！之前服事最多的就是「單親媽媽」！最近我們的孩子都有驚人的改變！而每個姐妹們都越來越幸福！感謝神！一位孩子不喜歡讀書，但SAT竟然考1470分，這是相當高的成績。對於他的表現我相當驚訝！他確實改變很大！另外一位孩子，跟媽媽關係一直不好，但她竟然四年的高中3年讀完，提早畢業！這孩子也是相當優秀！進入一個藝術大學！感謝神！雖然、我口袋是越來越薄，但我很高興！因為我見證到上帝的大能！祂真的是獨行奇事的神！如果、當初有人這樣帶領和幫助我，相信我的孩子們會更好！自己曾經的痛，就是我服事這些單親媽媽的動力！
為什麼我不理會那個找我要電話號碼和名字的基督徒？因為我覺得這個人感覺像騙子！在大陸有太多基督徒利用基督徒名義賺錢！他們都是用什麼課程的名義來斂財，我真的相當不喜歡！我當然會有財務的壓力！但是我能夠為了自己的肚腹，而成為出賣上帝的人嗎？我不願意按立、我也不願意成為牧師，不是我不夠資格，而是我不想！有時候看到那些人品不好的牧師、傳道人和基督徒，我一定會跟上帝吵架！
我常常跟上帝說：如果祢真的是神！祢必然要有全然的公義！祢沒有好好管教祢自己的教會和會眾，這是祢的錯誤！如果、這世界繼續不公義，那就代表根本沒有神！那我們為什麼要「傳福音」騙人呢？為什麼我面對這些不公義和詐騙的基督徒，我選擇保持沈默？因為、我不是上帝，我不需要去審判他們！我真的遇到很多邪惡的基督徒，但我沒有爆光他們的惡行，為什麼？不是縱容他們，而是他們應該交給上帝！為什麼我會批評那些不認識上帝的人？因為我可以幫助這些人變得更好！「批評」和「幫助」其實是一體的！願意「批評」、就是「關心」、就是會「花時間」，當我們「漠不關心」的時候，代表我們根本已經不在乎。這些作惡的基督徒們就交給上帝！我相信上帝是又真又活的神！祂的信實與公義我們完全無法測度！不要為作惡的人心懷不平！(箴言 24:19) 不要為作惡的心懷不平，也不要嫉妒惡人；(Proverbs 24:19) Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked;～或許、許多人不相信上帝，但我相信祂的信實與公義！如果、祂要我當牧者，祂必然會安排與供應！祂不是帶領我讀完免費的神學院嗎？「按立」和「供應」對於祂難嗎？