Do you know what "the Holy Spirit pushes" is? I am quite a "lazy person", and I am also a "person who regards money as life"! I can tell you honestly: All these years of doing God’s work came from my past savings! I am good at making money, and making money is no big deal! I don’t like Musk’s way of making money! I like to do the job that I like and make money, so I want to "retire" very early! But the "COVID-19 epidemic" interrupted my "retirement dream"! During the “COVID-19 epidemic”, I was “called” to attend “seminary”! I was "the Holy Spirit pushes" to serve again. Although the effect of what I did was very small, I had to do it!
I often complain to God: Why do you keep asking me to hammer the wall with an awl? How could the devil's stronghold be knocked down by me? But God wants me to do it, I must do it! Many times, I wanted to "give up"! The most common thing I say to God is: If I don’t have money, I will give up! But He will always provide! Although, I have not had much work in the past few years. On the one hand, I spend too much time studying, and on the other hand, the Covid virus has made the travel industry completely impossible! But thank the Lord! He does keep providing! I don’t know how to tell you about God’s provision, but He is a faithful God! He has His timetable for everything He does!
"The Holy Spirit pushes" means: I am obviously a person who loves to sleep. I am a lazy person who loves to sleep. I am the kind of person who can "sleep" even standing up! Let me tell you another truth: "bed" is not important for sleeping! The "house" doesn't matter for sleeping either! Being able to sleep has nothing to do with "bed and house"! I don’t need to take any “sleeping pills”. I don’t get enough sleep every day, so I don't take sleeping pills! "The Holy Spirit pushes" means that I am obviously very sleepy, but I have not finished "what the Holy Spirit has told me to do" in my heart, so that I would be "unable to sleep" and "sleep poorly"! The Holy Spirit never teaches things that are too difficult, but it’s just my laziness that has become a habit! So, when I finished “what the Holy Spirit told me to do,” I immediately fell asleep! I used to be the kind of person: nothing would affect my sleep! I can sleep if I want to, and I won’t talk about anything until I’m full sleep! So, classmates, when they were studying hard for the exam, I tried my best to sleep! Anyone who knows me knows that my personality is: when the boat reaches the bridge, it will be straight! I didn't have this personality before, but then a friend made me changed!
“The things of the Spirit” are what really matter! In our lives, we often feel that we have a lot to do, but when we finish it, we feel: it doesn’t matter whether we did it or not! I used to do this all the time! I used to want too many things and want to do too many things... I was also the kind of person who just did what I said and could get most things done! But after the training of the "Holy Spirit" in the past few years, I felt, "So what if I get it? What do I lose if I don't get it?"! I have less and less of this in my life now: What do I want? But I’m getting more and more: What do people need? This has been a real transformation in my life over the past few years! Although, I have been banging bricks for the past few years! The fortress will never fall because of me, but I hope more people will join me in laying bricks! When one day we cry out loudly...the devil's stronghold will fall forever, just like the city of Jericho!
I don't want to change anyone! Because I have gone through many wrong paths myself, and I also know that I am the kind of "stiff-necked person"! I've never been a good person! Like I said myself: lazy and greedy, it's a fact! Even today, I still have to tell you: I am still lazy and greedy! It's just that I think my past life was boring and meaningless! In the past, I could do whatever I wanted, but now I feel quite bored! The only thing that has changed me now is: I focus more on "people"! Put it on the "poor"! In the past, I cared about "the needs of the rich" for "my own profits"! I can satisfy more rich people and I have more profits! Now I care about the "needs of the poor" for the "wants of the Holy Spirit"! I didn’t get better, but here’s the thing: my “focus” of attention changed! Sharing my mentality, I hope it can give you some help, find a path that is beneficial to your future, and prevent yourself from wasting your life and energy!
你們知道什麼是「聖靈催逼」嗎？我是一個相當「懶惰的人」，我也是一個「視錢如命的人」！我可以誠實告訴大家：這幾年來做上帝的工作，都是從我過去的積蓄來的！我很會賺錢，賺錢沒有什麼了不起！像馬斯克這種賺錢法，我不喜歡！我喜歡做自己喜歡的工作，又能賺錢，所以、我很早就想「退休」！但「新冠疫情」打斷我的「退休夢」！「新冠疫情」期間，我得到「呼召」去讀「神學院」！我又被「聖靈催逼」出來服事，雖然、我做的事果效很小，但我又必須做！
我常常跟上帝抱怨：祢幹嘛一直叫我拿錐子鎚牆角？魔鬼的堅固營壘怎麼可能會被我鎚倒呢？但上帝要我做，我必須做！很多次、我很想「放棄」！我最常跟上帝說一句話：如果沒有錢，我就放棄！但祂都會一直供應！雖然、這幾年我沒有什麼工作，一方面是讀書花太多時間、還有新冠病毒，讓旅行業完全不行！但感謝主！祂確實一直在供應！我不知道怎麼告訴你們上帝的供應，但祂是信實的神！祂做每一件事都有自己的時間表！
「聖靈催逼」就是：我明明是一個愛睡覺的人，我是一個懶惰又愛睡覺的人，我是那種站著都可以「睡覺的人」！再告訴你們一個實話：「床」一點也不重要！「房子」也不重要！能睡覺、與「床和房子」無關！我不用吃什麼「安眠藥」，我每天都不夠睡，還吃安眠藥！「聖靈催逼」就是我明明很睏，但我心裡沒有做完「聖靈交代的事」，我必然「睡不著」和「睡不好」！聖靈從來不會交代太難的事，不過、是我自己懶惰成習慣！所以、當我完成「聖靈交代的事」，我立馬呼呼大睡！以前我是那種：任何事情都不會影響我睡覺！我想睡就睡，什麼事睡飽再說！所以、同學們、考試在努力K書，我就努力睡覺！認識我的人都知道，我的個性是：船到橋頭自然直！以前、我也不是這種個性，後來有個朋友，讓我改變！
「聖靈的事」才是真正重要的事！在我們的人生中、我們常常會覺得自己有很多事想做，但當我們做完後，我們就覺得：有沒有做都無所謂！我以前常常這樣！我以前想要的東西太多、想做的事太多….我又是那種說做就做，大部份事情都可以完成的人！但經過這幾年「聖靈」的調教，我反而覺得「得到又如何？沒有得到我又有什麼損失呢？」！我現在生命中越來越少：我想要什麼？但我越來越多：人們需要什麼？這是我生命這幾年真正的轉變！雖然、我這幾年都在敲磚！營壘從來不會因為我倒塌，但希望更多人跟我一起敲磚！當有一天我們大聲呼喊….魔鬼的營壘就永遠倒塌，就像耶利哥城一樣！
我不想改變任何人！因為我自己曾經走過很多錯誤的路，我也知道自己是那種「硬著頸項的人」！我一直都不是好人！就像我說自己：懶惰和貪婪，這是事實！即使到今天，我還是必須告訴你們：我還是懶惰和貪婪！只不過、我覺得過去的生活很無聊，很沒意義！過去、我想做什麼就做什麼，現在覺得相當無聊！現在唯一讓我改變的是：我更多把精力放在「人」身上！放在「窮人」身上！過去、我為「自己的想要」，去關心「富人的需要」！現在我為「聖靈的想要」，去關心「窮人的需要」！我沒有變得更好，但重點是：我的關注「焦點」改變！分享我的心態，希望能夠給你們一些幫助，找到有益自己未來的路，讓自己不要浪費生命和精力！
